Transcript

SPECIAL: The Key Question to Reframe an Argument

Alright, what's happening, my first million listeners? This is Sam Parr. We have a quick episode where I'm gonna show you a handful of pieces of content I've consumed over the last week and That made a big difference on my life. Hopefully. You'll enjoy it. I enjoy content discovery and that's what this episode's all about. I think you will too. I'm currently Filming this, recording this out of a townhouse, an apartment in a townhouse that I'm renting in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. This place is lovely. I love

Cabah Hill, this is my second summer here. God, it's it's it's wonderful. It it looks like the um It looks like the Cosby show, if if you're old enough to remember that, where it's like a street in Brooklyn that's covered in trees with a in a in a pretty small street, it's freaking awesome. My handle on Twitter's The Sampar. If you're nearby, holler at me. Maybe we'll do a meetup or something. Um Alright, let's get into some of the pieces of content that made a big difference in my life this week. The first, there's this guy named Ben Mula. His uh he's got a YouTube channel, so it's uh Ben, the word Ben, B-E-N Space M U L L A H. Now this guy

He he changed my perspective right away. But at first He he's this A little bit.

A little bit different. And so He's this like big old fat guy. I mean, he might be three hundred and fifty, four hundred pounds. He's huge and he's like six foot five, he looks like. And he films himself in Florida doing real estate deals, and according to some of my research and according to what he says, he's legitimate. He's got about two hundred and fifty million dollars in real estate. and has this like pretty meaningful size empire in Florida. But he basically he's this big old fat guy. He smokes

look what looks like cheap cigarettes all day. He drives in a kind of a gaudy Bentley And he's pretty obnoxious. He cusses a lot. He uses a lot of Just Weird phrasing and on the surface you're like oh my god this guy is hideous he's disgusting like his personality is just obnoxious

Gosh, this guy turned me fast. I'm a big fan of Ben Mulah. So his story is that he started as like a basically he was like a poor Jewish kid in New York. He bought some real estate's f uh property in uh New York, I believe Queens for like ten, twenty, thirty thousand dollars when he was younger, fixed them up, sold them, and just kind of parlayed that into A bigger thing, a bigger thing, and a bigger thing. And now he's probably in his fifties. And he's documenting his life, you know he's

already relatively successful. And I learned something really major from him that I'm gonna tell you about. But first, let me tell you about some of this guy's titles. I mean he's got a whole bunch of YouTube videos. It's a YouTube channel, Ben Mullah, is a YouTube channel. And Some of his titles are so obnoxious but so interesting, and that's originally how I found him. So uh a few of'em are The Cost of Living in a Thirty Dill $30 million mansion, process of buying a$5 million yacht, how much a$250 million man is losing during COVID. So kind of obnoxious. Titles.

But again The reality is a little bit different. He he he's very charming, this guy. And I'm gonna tell you what I've learned about him. Um, particularly uh there's this video where he talks about negotiating. I believe it's called Ben Mula, how to negoti how to negotiate, and he walks into this Bentley dealership and it's a pretty quiet, upscale place. I mean they sell two hundred fifty, three hundred thousand dollar cars, and he starts talking really loud. He comes in with this camera and he goes, What's up, everyone Ben's here. I'm uh I'm here to buy a car. Can someone please come and help me? And then

He uh is just like walking around like he owns a place and then he looks back at the camera and he goes Let's liven this place up. So you can tell right away that he has a plan. Like his the plan was to come in loud and lo and hot, and that's exactly what he's doing. And he starts negotiating with this guy. And he goes, I want this car. You know, let's talk about it. And they spend about five minutes talking about the car, and he pulls up his cell phone, he goes, Look, this is how much they're selling it here. This is how much they're selling it here, and he has all these other places um where they're selling the exact same car for cheaper. And he goes, I want it for this price. And the guy goes, No, no, no, but those cars don't have a warranty, they're a different model, they're they have different features. And he starts like hassling the guy, he gives him like a fake Punch to the stomach. He starts putting his arm around him. He starts hugging him. He starts telling him how he loves him and how he hates him. And he and he's doing this like slapstick comedy bit almost. It's it's Kind of like again, the way I'm describing it, it sounds obnoxious, and and frankly it is a little bit. But the guy's laughing laughing it up, and it and it seems like genuine. I mean, this guy, Ben

He uh he's just hassling this guy. The owner of the dealership comes over and starts talking and Ben just goes Ha ha ha. You remind me of Mr. Rogers. You you're so soft. He says it right to this guy's face, but here's what I learned. What he's saying

It's it's It's a little bit offensive. But this guy is controlling the energy of the place. His energy uh is m a little bit higher than the people he's working with and he has Zap the energy of the place.

And it all went to him and then now he's like dishing this energy out to each individual person. And once they Catch hold of it. They love it. They start laughing at what he's saying. And it and it seems like actual genuine laughs. And he's dictating the the energy of the room and thus winning the negotiation, winning the conversation. And it's Pretty charming when I saw him, I I started laughing and I was like oh man, like this guy maybe w when you leave the dealership you're like

I can't believe I just sold the car for that guy at this price. I wish I wouldn't have done that. But in the moment, he does have some intoxicating energy and it's really interesting to watch. So his name's Ben Mullah at the end of the At the end of this particular episode he goes. I would have bought that car from them regardless of what they sold it for, because they've always been nice to me and they've always taken care of my cars when I brought it here. But I just had to get a deal'cause that's what I love. So his name's Ben Mullah. Check it out. The video I'm referencing is called How to Negotiate. This guy

Y y when you see him you'll understand what I mean. I mean he just He does not come off great at first, but he's very charming and and basically if you control the energy of a situation, you're gonna get the outcome that you want. He makes these guys smile the whole time and Th they dig it. It's very interesting. So Ben Mula, I started watching his videos a while ago, but this week I dug in

I can't turn it off. He's got twenty minute videos. It's so fascinating. The second one It's a guy named Michael Francis. So Michael Francis His father his father was named Sonny Francis he um Was a His father was a really big mafia guy. He helped kinda get the mob going. His I believe his father worked with a got a lot of guys like Buxy Seagull, Lucky Luciano, those types of folks. You know, these like

mafia guys who movies are made about. And Michael, his son, he's uh I believe he's seventy one now. He uh became joined the mob as well. Or the mafia. I don't I don't know what the correct term actually is, but And he um Tell stories about what it was like. And

It's bad. The mob is bad, right? They kill, they steal, they commit crimes, and and that's not great. But there's something about this guy that screams Honor. That screamed some Loyalty. And even though that this guy, uh Michael, I think he's redeemed himself. He went to prison for a handful of years. I don't think he ever killed anyone. I'm I'm certain he he talks about kinda shaking people down a little bit and he talks about, you know, being friends with

murderer, so you know, he wasn't that great of a guy. But he went to prison for like five or ten years ish. He spent a lot of time in solitary confinement, which is hell. And now he's like um he talks a little bit about being a Christian. He doesn't rub it in your face if that's not if you're not into that, so you don't have to worry about that. Um, but he talks about how he tries to be a good guy now and he's trying to make up for all a lot of the stuff that he did in the past that wasn't great. And It's really an interesting channel. If if you're on YouTube

uh just search Michael Mafia. His name is Michael Francis. It's hard to spell, but y'ul find it. And one of the stories that he tells is that basically in the eighties, I believe He had this scam where he would buy oil from a wholesaler and then sell it to gas stations. And when you do that, I guess in the state of New York and in New Jersey, maybe it's throughout the country, there's like a three uh a three or four four or five cent difference. That's supposed to be paid in taxes. And so let's say you have a gallon of gas for a dollar, you sell it for two dollars.

Five cents of that dollar profit that you just made has to go to the government. It's some type of like oil or s or gas tax. And He basically created hundreds of different entities. And he would sell the gas to the gas station uh with a different entity and then just close it down and go bankrupt and just for some somehow the way it worked, I guess he he just never had to pay the government taxes'cause they wouldn't come after him and he would just do that hundreds of times. And inevitably he was like, I knew they were gonna come after me, but you know, I'm a criminal. I was I was I was doing a

um a scheme. I I was gonna try and make as much as I could while the Git was good. And over the course of a handful of years, it made something like a billion dollars in revenue for for the mafia. And he said that at one point uh for a little while him him personally he was making something like f uh two million dollars a week in personal income and he owned a jet, he invested in movies, he owned a Mazda dealership. It's a really fascinating story and There is a little bit of a Honor, even though they're these guys are committing crimes, even though Michael ended up Um, I don't think he ratted on anyone, but he is talking about the mob, which I guess you're not supposed to if you've been part of it. So you could definitely make the case that well, he's not that honorable if he's did all this. But there is, you know, every great man

Uh uh uh uh is also a bad man, but I think a lot of them can be great too. You know, you can be good and bad at the same time. And and there's a lot of really interesting traits that this guy Uh. Has and I think you guys should listen to it because I've actually learned a lot. When he talks about being in solitary confinement, you know

Solitary confinement is hell. I I I love cr crime stuff. And I listen to a lot of crime podcasts and I love prison stories for some reason that's always fascinated me. Solitary confinement, I think I'd rather in in some cases I'd rather be killed than go to solitary confinement. And he talks about being in there for years and he talks about the mental fortitude that he had to have. And I think that While My

Day to day is Pretty easy. A lot of yours imagine compared to being in solitary confinement is pretty easy. You know, there's stuff that pisses me off about the day, stuff that I don't want to do. And stuff that makes me anxious and I think about kinda how he describes how we got through solitary confinement, it kinda inspires me to be a little bit stronger. So really, really fascinating. Um, the third thing.

I actually can't remember where this quote came from. Um, but I'm gonna tell you about a quote that I read that actually kinda changed the game for me uh for a little bit. So basically last week Sean and I and a bunch of our Friends or I'm not friends with all of them, but they we invested in this company called Hone, which basically sells testosterone replacement therapy, which I like.

And not everyone agrees with that and I understand that. And I shared that I invested into it. And I got a lot of uh trash. A lot of A lot of Criticism from a guy named Nat Who I actually know Nat and and I've had dinner with him and I like him. But he criticized my deal and investing in them and he and he criticized the company.

And that's cool. That's fine. Everyone can have their opinion and I'm sure he's got great points. But we s I started like wanting to argue with him and I think he was gonna argue with me. I mean we're in we're we definitely were were dug in. And I asked a question that I stole from someone. I'm not gonna I'm not I'm telling you about my story with this, and and I don't want you to think I've made this up. I stole it from someone, but I don't remember what it was. But basically the question that I asked was what new information would you need to change your mind, Nat I said, um I tweeted Adam, you could probably find it.

It said um You know, instead of like arguing about this, let's uh just just let me ask you, what information would you need to show that TRT is good or that this company isn't shady? And I love that question. I t like I said, I took it from somewhere But whenever I'm arguing with someone or I have a different opinion than someone, I I love saying, Okay, I hear you, you know, you like this political candidate, you like this person, you like this person.

what new information would I need to present to you in order to change your opinion that they are good and not bad? And when you ask that question, you change an argument from Arguing. to trying to have empathy and understand someone's point of view. And it's a really great question I have found to ask to um kinda solve problems as opposed to just debate. So that's a good question. So what new information would I need to present to you or w would you need to learn to show that your

Current beliefs are actually Um different or maybe wrong or or or maybe maybe you should actually agree with the point I'm making, or what information could I provide you that could change your opinion? Th that question I think is great. Okay, a few more Steve McQueen, a biography. I read this book this week. I d I uh I guess I listened to it. I didn't read it, but Steve McQueen, he's called the King of Cool. He was an actor in the fifties, sixties, and seventies. A lot of young men who wanna dress nicely. They love Steem McQueen'cause he would dress pretty cool. He was a pretty good looking guy. I read this book

And I read it because I wanted to be a little bit more adventurous in my life. And he was known for racing cars for for having loads of girlfriends. He was d you know, the very typical, like manly man. type of thing and and that I read about as a kid and I was like, Well, now that I'm grown, um let me read about him. Let me learn about this guy.

This guy was awful! This was not a good person. I can't believe I looked up to this person. Um He was an awful guy. He cheated on his wife and he would brag about cheating on his wife to his wife. He mooched off her when he was broke and she was making money as an actress, and then when he started making it big as an actor, he bailed on her and cheated on her, and uh he would go to brothels and stuff like that with his friends and he would be like, Hey I don't have any money, can you spot me? He he would show up till late for work, hung over Um God, this guy was awful. I can't believe I looked up to him. Totally changed my perspective, but there is a few traits that I liked. For one

And this probably the only trait is that he loved adventure. There's a there's a really good story in the book about when he was sixteen, he went to a circus, I believe in Missouri or Arkansas, something like that. And he met the circus guys and they go, Yeah, we paid this much money. um if you want to you know join us and he goes, Hell yeah, I'm in. So he just left that day with the circus, didn't even go home. His uncle who he was living with at the time didn't even know where he was. He thought he died at first. And then eventually Steve came home like a month later when he realized he didn't like being in the circus. And his uncle was very upset and I thought that was kinda funny and interesting. The second thing, the story that I remember uh reading about him is he was supposed to visit his wife. Steve was currently in living in New York. His wife or girlfriend at the time was in LA filming a video, filming a movie And Steve was on the airport to go visit her after he told her that he was on his way, met a guy on his way to the airport who was going to Cuba, loved the story, and he goes, F this, I want to go to Cuba, gets on the plane with the guy and goes to Cuba, goes to Cuba, tells his wife eventually, Hey, you know, change of plans, I'm actually been in Cuba for a week. I'm sorry I didn't make it, gets arrested.

She bails him out, flies him back to LA And I don't like how he did that'cause he was disrespectful to his wife, he was disrespectful to his uncle. But goddamn, I do love that type of um

Adventure. And I think it is interesting, you know, people just throw caution to the wind, even though I don't like how we did it. It's still kind of fascinating. And lastly, a great article by Bankrate. Um, so right now with COVID, everyone's moving. Not everyone, a lot of people, you know. Uh the biggest states are California, New York, New Jersey, PA, and Michigan. Those are f experiencing the biggest exoduses according to Uh bank rate. And there's an interesting list that we put together of cities that are d giving crazy incentives for people to live in. It's

And then let me let me read you some of these um Some of these cities. The first is Baltimore is giving a$5,000 down payment for a house. Tulsa is giving 10K plus free co-working space for people who stay for one year. Uh in two thousand twenty, about four hundred people took advantage of that. Three cities in West Virginia are saying that they're gonna give you ten K, including um co working space and free rentals for outdoor gear. Maine and Alaska also have programs. Maine is giving tax rebates to transplants to earn a college degree since 2008. Alaska is giving a thousand dollars a year for three years. Topeka, Kansas. It's kind of funny. They're giving ten grand if you move and buy a home, five grand if you rent. Northwest Arkansas, two counties there, they're giving ten thousand dollars plus a mountain bike.

Uh and then Wyoming has uh a few new laws that uh make crypto really easy so they can attract crypto people. And then this is actually happening in other countries. So Greece, Barbados, Bali, Italy, all countries to lure remote workers. I thought this was fascinating. Typically you'll see companies or uh cities recruit companies. So uh they'll try to uh get Amazon or whatever to move there. These guys are actually going after individual workers. And maybe they'll attract more and more um of the company once they get a couple of the workers.

Kinda fascinating. I thought if you're if you're young, you're single You don't have a lot of kids, you don't have a lot of roots. Hey, these are kinda fascinating. Northwest Arkansas, ten K in a mountain bike. That ain't too bad. And I know that there's some schemer out there that's gonna pull up Michael Francis's Uh

uh scam and and actually accept the money without living there. Anyway, those are the top bits of content I read this week that made a big difference on me. Let me know what you think. The sampler on Twitter. Talk to you soon.