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#602: Legendary Comedian Bill Burr — Fear{less} with Tim Ferriss

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Hello, boys and girls, this is Tim Ferris. Welcome to another episode of the Tim Ferris show, where it is my job to deconstruct world class performers to tease out the routines, habits, etc. that you can apply to your own life. You will get plenty of all of that in this special episode, which features an interview from my 2017 TV show, Fearless. A less is in parentheses because the objective is to teach you to fear less. Not to be fearless. Fearless features in-depth long-form conversations with top performers focusing on how they've overcome fears and made hard decisions, embracing discomfort and thinking big along the way. It was produced by Wild West Productions, and I worked with them to make both the video and audio available to you for free. My dear listeners, so thank you, Wild West. You can find the video of this episode, which is gorgeous. I think they did an incredible job on youtube.com slash Tim Ferris. Remember two R's two S, YouTube.com slash Tim Ferris, and eventually you'll be able to see all of the episodes for free at youtube dot com slash Tim Ferris. So You can swing over there and see what is currently up. Before we get started, just a little bit more on Wild West. Spearheaded by actor, producer, and past podcast guest Vin Vaughn, Wild West has produced a string of hit movies, including The Internship, Couples Retreat, Four Christmases, and The Breakup. In 2020, Wild West produced the comedy The Opening Act.

Starring Jimmy O'Yoang and Cedric the Entertainer. In addition to Fearless, their television credits include Undeniable with Joe Buck, ESPN's thirty for thirty episode about the eighty-five bears, and the Netflix animated show F Is for Family. Wild West has also produced the documentaries, Give Us This Day, Game Changers. Subtitle Dreams of BlizzCon and Wild West Comedy Show. And now, without further ado. Please enjoy. This wide ranging conversation from fearless.

I'm Tim Ferris, author, entrepreneur, angel investor, and now TV host. I've spent my entire adult life asking questions, then scouring the globe to find the answers. On this show, I'll share the secret of pioneers who have faced their own fears. We'll dig into the hard times, big mistakes, tough decisions and how they got through it all. The goal isn't to be fearless. The goal is to learn to fear less.

Yeah. Welcome to Fearless, I'm your host Tim Ferris. And on this stage, we'll be deconstructing world-class performers to uncover the specific tactics that they've used to overcome doubt, tackle hard decisions, and ultimately succeed. So imagine yourself all alone on stage in front of 14,000 people staring directly at you. For many of us, probably most of us, that'd be a complete nightmare. But for my guest tonight, it's just another day at the office.

The man you're about to meet is one of the most prolific and respected comedians in the world. He's done five hour long comedy specials, hosts one of the most popular podcasts of all time, and is the co-creator and star of the animated series F Is for Family. Please welcome to the stage. Bilber. How are you?

Going on, T. How you doing, bike? Uh this looks like a TED talk. Like we're gonna be out here talking about artificial intelligence or something? We might this is really creeping me up. Oh yeah This is very sterile.

All right. I've wanted to sit down and chat with you for so long. Yeah, we've been texting trying to get it going. Well here we go. And here we are. Welcome to my home. Yeah. And I thought a fun place to start might be with Philadelphia. So we have a video to show and is context and feel free to correct me and we can add more afterwards. But

At least some or all of the comedians had been booed off stage up to that point? No, that's the uh that's the urban myth. The first guy got booed. Okay. And um the lineup was killer and we were just playing these outdoor like amphitheaters, so it was like, you know, kinda made for music and uh And we got down to Philly and um I don't know, they were all wearing like eagle jerseys and tailgating and throwing the football and it just seemed like they were ready for a playoff game. And it was still light out.

And there's something about jokes. They don't work when there's lights on, like it has to be seedy in that. So not only was it was like daylight, it was sunlight, and uh half the people were still out in the parking lot. And there was like it just like maybe like two thousand people just milling around, walking around. So he basically got thrown to the dogs, but what happened is they booed him off stage and it kinda set the tone. But then you know, everybody was kinda doing their thing. I mean it was crazy. It was like Patrice O'Neill, Tracy Morgan, Ralphie Mae Bob Sagan, I mean uh Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton, Da Mirera. I mean it was just Murder is rogue.

So but you could just feel like there was something um People were surviving. And I saw a few people who always went long went short that night. I'm not gonna say who, but one who always burned the light and it wasn't Patrice. It was somebody else. I mean he was literally mid joke and just stopped and said

W you guys were great. Good night, God bless. And walked up. And that's when I started thinking like uh oh. It's like if that dude who always goes long just pulled up, he was supposed to do twenty minutes. I don't think he did I don't think he did 14. And at that point I didn't want to do the show. Yeah. And I wasn't nervous at all. I just kept thinking like I could have just been in a funny bone

If out of forty people who gave a shit and wanted to come to the show. And so then I wasn't nervous at all and then I knew I I was probably looking back, I probably knew I was in trouble. And then I went out there. And I was like, Oh shit. And

I did my first joke, which I didn't realize they were playing in the advertising on the radio, so everyone already heard it and nobody Nobody laughed. And I was like literally I was like already neck deep and it was so long ago. And then I just remember I went to another joke and I just bailed halfway through and was like, You guys aren't gonna laugh at that? And then they booed and um let's maybe we should roll the tape. Uh I don't wanna see this. I think you guys wanna see it. Bunch of fuck. seen that.

Are you saying? I've never seen that. No. Really? No. So y did you decide to do the countdown before you went out? I mean is that something you No, no, no. What happened was luckily I had been booed before. So it wasn't a new thing.

So the first time you get booed is a you know, it's a it's a hell of an experience'cause you have what you want, but it's the exact opposite emotion. We have the entire crowds focus except it's no love, it's just hate. So the first time that happens, it's really uh I d I didn't know what to do. But I I also I remember just afterwards thinking about it, going like why didn't I I let that fat guy boo me? I let that chick with the weird glasses like why didn't I say something? I just remember thinking I was just mad at myself. Going like all right, you you got booed, you know, they didn't think you were funny.

Uh but you sat there. You know, it was a variety show. They had like a contortionist and somebody with a snake and then somebody saying saying like pour some sugar on me and these leather pants and then they'd bring a comedian out. It was just it was a complete shit show. So I just remember afterwards I just remember being like upset at myself that I that I I It's like dude, you could at least throw one punch. You should have done that. But I but but then I didn't think of it again. I didn't think of it again because uh you know you don't plan on something like that happening. So I don't know why I did that. I just started doing it and the they had the clock was there.

And then I was just looking at it and I I just I don't know, I think in that moment I decided I wasn't gonna leave. So I think the countdown was kind of for me like you're doing cardio. You know that? And you're like I'm not gonna look for one song, you know, and then look, all right, another three minutes went off. So here's the funny thing. So we still had one more date on that tour. Something was telling me, Don't do the last one, and then I went to Cleveland. And it was like as I walked out on stage everybody booed'cause they wanted me to trash their city. So then it became this thing was like I can't do this again, or then this is my act. This is like Gallagher smashing the watermelons. I gotta come out and read about all your sports teams and shit. So That was the one I freaked out about because I thought it was like I thought my career was over. I was like everywhere I go I'm gonna get booed and blah blah blah blah. I'm glad that people enjoyed it because I was definitely I was embarrassed that the whole thing happened. You grew up in mass.

Yeah. What was your childhood like growing up in Massachusetts? I was sort of like you know this shy kid I had like orange hair. I mean I was just like I was a mark the second I walked in the room. Everyone was on me. Like I remember one time f I think it was my birthday, my mother got me this my parents got me like this little cowboy outfit. I was like four years old, you had like the hat.

It was a little vest and then I had like like the belt with the guns and it was supposed to be like the mother of pearl handles, but it was like plastic. So she sends me all I even had like the little bandana, she tied it around and she just sent me outside. And I don't even think I made it to the end of my driveway. And like these big kids came by and they just took the guns out of my holster and just smashed them on the ground. And I sat there looking, I just was like crying. They laughed and just walked away and then I picked'em up and I walked home. I walk back into the house. My mom was like Who did that? Who did that? I was like, Big kids.

And she's like, I f I can't remember. She just like made me a sandwich and that was kinda it But it wasn't like a big deal back then. I remember you would just do shit in the neighborhoods and parents just watched They just figured out what you did. I mean we threw rocks in this kid's pool And before I even got home, my mother already knew what happened.

And uh there was a lot of that stuff going like they were building new homes. And you'd go down there and you would steal shit f to make a tree for it, or you just vandalize them for no reason. When did comedy enter the picture for you? I always made I always got kids to laugh. And I moved around a little bit when I was a kid and just making kids laugh was a way to get people to stop beating the shit out of me. Um

Or bigger kids, you know. Wailing on you or whatever. So That's how I w I would make friends. I would just I would just make people laugh and I remember m making people laugh in the in the uh In the classroom, you know, I get That made you feel good.

You know, made the pretty girls care about who you were, hopefully, you know. It was just an attention thing, I guess. Which people influenced you when you were a kid? I mean were there particular comedians that you gravitated towards or memorized or anything like that? I watched all the st my s all the stuff my dad used to watch, all the things that they now s sell on TV, all the uh All those Dean Martin Rose

Foster Brooks I loved uh Remember Bob Hope, my dad would always laugh and I never got the jokes. There was always some obscure references and then As I started to get older. Uh Cheech and Chong and I remember um

buying Richard Pryor's album, not even know who who he was, I just knew He looked funny. I'm not gonna say the name of the album, but it's the one when he's like that. It's got the N word in it. Um George Carlin. Yeah, and I just started buying him. I remember buying the Eddie Murphy record when he had the rose in his ear. I bought that just'cause he was a black guy. And I knew that Richard Pryor was funny and I was just a little white kid going like but this black guy was black guys are funny. And I just I just like I just bought it and I had no idea who he was. Did you memorize any of their bits or how did you

This is how out of touch I was with what I wanted to do and I used to do my payparoot. And I would Be uh doing the bit I'm doing Eddie Murphy's got hit by a car bit. I would be doing that out loud to myself as I was riding through the snow and pretending I was in front of the school doing it and everyone was laughing, thinking I was great.

But it still didn't dawn on me at that moment that maybe I wanted to be a comedian. I don't know why. It just ev it just seems I think for kids today that's hard to understand. because they can just shoot something, Instagram it or whatever the f whatever the hell they do. You too it

On the internet, whatever the hell it is. And um But back then it was it was a zillion miles away. It was a zillion miles away, like it didn't like. Even like thinking about becoming a comedian, I thought you had to like move to Hollywood To do it. Like I had I had no idea, um

Yeah, there was like three channels. You had no idea. In high school, what did you think you were going to be when you grew up? Do you have Any idea? No, I was failing miserably. But like I did great in school I did great in school right until it counted. I did great right up to eighth grade. And when I when my freshman year I I was going in, I was like, I'm gonna go to Notre Dame and I'm gonna become a lawyer. and by like sophomore years it's like I'm gonna be a construction worker and go to Wentworth.

I'll drive a truck! Um Yeah, I just I don't know. I think somewhere along the line I just wanted to have a fun job. I wanted to have a fun job. I n I did know that because uh You know, I I hated

Everything else. I didn't like carpeted areas. I didn't like wearing suits. Like I liked working in warehousing. I liked I liked having a job where I could walk walk away from an area. I always just remember seeing people who had to sit in cubicles like they just had to be there. And if you're not there and immediately they know that you're n you're screwing around. Like you know where is he? He's supposed to be right here. He's not getting what he's supposed to be done. So if you work in warehousing, you could be on like a forklift or unloading a truck or cutting up boxes, or just doing something. They were all right with it and um like warehousing is great. It's all class clowns, musicians.

Like Attics. Alcoholics and shit. Yeah, I remember this dude coming into work. He came in like three hours late. It was like ninety degrees out. And his hair was soaking wet from a shower, like dripping down. He's like, Oh yeah, the traffic, the traffic was was brutal. Just like, dude, your hair's still wet.

From the shower and I remember um Yeah, he had a major coke problem. And uh yeah, he'd be w I remember my boss had a coke problem. I remember getting that job, and the first day I saw him, he was this guy was like probably six four and couldn't have weighed more than a buck sixty. He was just just wired. And they had this palate jack that was like electronic.

And they're like, Yeah, let me take you over to meet the boss and he saw me and he was just so g just geeked out. He was just like driving it towards the dock back and forth going, I'm gonna drive it off the dock and just coming back. Like liping his li licking his lips and shit and I was just like all right, this is gonna be my boss And I w I I worked the third shift and it was all people like me working our way through college. Like if you know if you didn't get

student loans or whatever. I got laid off from that shit because there was this f this fat fuck used to come out. From the uh he was fat and he was a fuck. So

He would come walking out. He come walking, I'm wear short sleeve dress shirts and he's one of those guys so fat he had to really swing the arms to get out. He just come walking out. And he look around and all these badass dudes all of a sudden would be grabbing boxes and pretending to work. And I just s had that thing. Maybe it's the stand up comic thing where that that that thing. You just like I was like, you know what, fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. And I just look at him like hey, what's going on?

Like I'm not I'm not doing this little fu I'm working out here, I don't have the fucking extra work. When you come out here, fuck you. Why don't you pick this up, you tub of shit. That's what I was thinking. So then I ended up uh Right after that moment like an idiot, I then asked the other the coked up guy for a raise And

And then then I think the fatty was just like to hell with this guy so then I got laid off from that. And um Then I was collecting unemployment which I had never done and I felt real I felt like a piece of shit doing it'cause my Parents work so hard. And uh it was a bad economic time and I c I couldn't get a job.

I just decided that I wanted to be a comedian because working in the warehouse I was working with this guy who was hilarious and he wanted to be a comedian. And he was the first guy that said it. He said, You know, one of these nights I'm gonna uh Take a shot at Jack Daniels.

And just go on stage. And then I and all of a sudden it wasn't on T V once again, you know, we didn't have YouTube, so it was sitting next to me. I was thinking, Well if he could do it, I can do it. So um I knew that I was a baby step kinda guy, so I had to rather than just doing it I transferred to Emerson, which was more of a performance school, so

And then I just went there and I just every class I could get up in front of the class, I would do it. No matter how nervous I was, and I was a really shy, withdrawn, really withdrawn kid. And um I just forced myself to do that. And every time I did it, even if it didn't go well, I felt good that I did it.

Then I started to like it. And um I started doing radio. because radio was a good baby step. between performing and being funny to like a live crowd because it was like I was on a microphone, there was an audience, but I couldn't see'em, I couldn't hear'em. And I remember I I did this shift two A. to six AM on six forty AM WE CB and all it did was broadcast to the dorms. Nobody was up. Nobody was listening. If they were, they were listening to a better radio station. And I just remember and I'd always be I'd always be on like the thing going like you know, whatever the sum That was Dinosaur Junior. If you have any requests, give me a call. And no one would ever call and finally I just said, Jesus, I go

Somebody just call in. Tell me you hate me, I don't care. And then the phone lit up. And I picked it up when this guy goes, I hate ya. And then hung up, and I just remember just being like in a total panic. I was I was mortified. And then he called back and he apologized, said he, he goes, My girlfriend's working the next shift. I just happened to be listening. She told me to call back and apologize, but like I felt like such a nerd. And um

Which I was. I was a nerd. I commuted to school. I didn't know anybody. I just walked in with my stupid book bag and I would do the And then I would just go home and I would go to work. Kinda had a job once I had my paper in third grade.

I had a job. Ever since I've been working, so Did you have any particular at that time, I don't have to remember, but when you were shy, how did you was there any particular milestone or point that you remember when that changed, when you became more comfortable? Um No, it just slowly got better. But I I still in certain situations I am sort of it's weird'cause what I do, but I am also a very like L I'm one of those guys like the second the show is over, if nobody knew who I was that would be that is that is the ultimate that would be perfect. Like before the show I need you to know who I am so you buy tickets.

You know, or else I would be screwed. But the second it's over, like I don't need it to keep going. Do you remember your first Open mic, gig Getting on stage. Yeah. What was it key walking? I s I signed up for a a talent contest at Emerson.

'Cause I had made a New Year's re resolution in nineteen ninety two. This is how scared and shy I was about doing this. I was like I made a new year's resolution that at some point In the calendar year of nineteen ninety two, I was gonna go on stage. I gave myself a year to do it, and I was gonna do it. And th and then that was it. My baby step way into it. Um because I knew if I said I'm doing it next week I'd go into a panic.

And I might not ever do it, so I said that January first, and literally three weeks later. The Emersonian newspaper they said uh next comedy stop. was having a uh a talent contest find Boston's funniest college student Which was just this total scam.

to pack it with college kids watching their drunk friend go up there and bomb and then they make all this money. I remember it was a contest and I didn't on any level try to win it. Майгол гост хавин на бал. Of when they called my name. to walk up there and start talking. That's all it was. And I remember sitting down trying to write material

And it's just like and I'd been funny my whole life, but then all of a sudden to sit down and like sort of artificially create the moment where it's like if you and I are hanging out socially And you say something, it's like you don't even think and then you just sort of and then I say that and blah blah blah. But now it's like With the stand up, I have to create that moment. Bring the crowd in.

to the world, create that moment and then say it. And I had no idea how to do it. So I remember I can't remember what I wrote. I basically I had some sort of ideas and I went up there and I'm I remember taking the mic and it was the only time I've ever felt having an out of body experience Where I thought I was watching myself. Panic thing.

you know, the emotional me just left me. Like we don't wanna be uh we I don't want to go on this ride. Let's see what happens. So I remember taking the mic out of the I still remember what the mic looked like. And this guy Billy Martin was hosting who's now like this big shot on uh Bill Mars show. I just went I f completely forgot what I was gonna do. And I just started talking and I I went into the middle of what I was gonna do. Then I went to the beginning and then to the end. It was like a Tarantino movie, you know, like with Travolta walking by in the background and the diner scene. It was kinda like that, but I sort of was able

To do all right. And I think I only did like three minutes. I was supposed to do five and I got off stage. And I didn't I didn't care. About anything. And I remember That was it. I was like, this is what I'm doing. And I tried construction, I was in warehousing, I tried sales.

I I I remember I got a health insurance license, I even passed the test. I get certified to take x rays. I was working in a dental office. I did all of this shit And none of it like none of it like I didn't care about any of it. And this was the thing. I just did it. I was just like that's it. This is what I'm doing with the rest of my life.

But that night After I did it. Even though somebody else won, I didn't care. I just remember driving home in my truck. Listening to Motley Crue kickstart my heart. Yep. And uh J literally screaming.

I was so psyched that I did it. I don't and I was only like I was middle of the pack. I was nowhere near even remotely the funniest person. What was it about that experience? That Made it click for you. One of th one of those things in life that you don't have to think about.

It sh it just it was what it was. It was awesome. And I was just like, Why wouldn't I want to do this? Like My first thought was like I'm doing that for the rest of my life. Then I did my next show was at this comedy club Stitches. And that one went okay. And then my third show That was my first what's called a hellroom.

Which yeah, it's not a doesn't sound good. Yeah, it's not a comedy club. It was a bar. The people there were eating, they had no idea there was gonna be a show. They turned off the Bruins game and then they bring you up. And uh that was my first time experiencing A crowd watching a show that didn't want to see a show. And uh

I just remember I d I remember doing my first joke. My first joke that really just got nothing. And feeling The that punch in the chest. Of something bombing. And then having

to regroup and I had nothing to regroup with. And I remember I bombed so bad I got halfway through my time. And this guy Jack Lynch was the host. And I said on the microphone, I said, Jack, I'm bailing. I'm bailing.

And I got off and I was so embarrassed I didn't want to walk past the crowd or the comedians, and I sat down in the first empty chair and I just sat there like this scalded child. For like two hours waiting for the show to go and I wanted to leave, but I I was so embarrassed, I just sat there It was horrible and I just remember and then what sucked back then was there was so much time between your shows. Oh yeah. You know, there was like weeks between shows. So if you had a good show you could ride the high of that, but if you bombed That was one of those things like

I got this thing like when I when I embarrass myself, for some reason it comes out to me like when I'm in the shower. And I have to like shout the memory out. You know, like I'll be in the shower and I just think about it, I just be like ah I'll just like make these noises. Just these noises of like humiliation, like oh God, I I did that or I said that. I still do that in the c my car. Like I'll I'll think of shit that I just did or something I did ten years ago. And it's this thing I've just like'cause I don't want to think it And you know, there's a self loathing about it that you know that I never I ne I kinda never got past those teenage years of that, Oh God, I'm such an idiot. Like I never I kinda never got past that. I mean, I knew I was gonna bomb. It's inevitable. It's like if you fight, if you fight long enough, somebody's gonna come along a little faster than you're gonna get caught.

And it's like it's stellant. Telling jokes. It's it's it's it's inevitable. It's gonna happen. And um then it's just something you have to get good at. You have to get good at bombing. Yeah.

And um I had enough experience of doing it, you know, that eventually You get good at it, then it doesn't it doesn't hurt you anymore. And is it just exposure? Is it like getting a flu shot every season? It's just about the number of repetitions you can just deep ties yourself to it. Yeah, you just keep doing it and and um You know, bombing is there's something hilarious about it. There's something like if you but but what the turning point for me with bombing was was seeing how funny was being able I remember one time just being on stage and I was bombing And I just pictured all my friends

watching me laughing at me in the in the Got me to laugh at myself. And then I just started thinking, How much can I get these people to hate me? And I just left my act and I just started trying to annoy them. And it I didn't get'em back. They still hated me, but I had such a good time. That was like wow, what was that? That was that was this new area of stand up that you know I d I didn't know existed.

The the clean And not so clean, kinda before and after Bilber, I find really fascinating. So we actually have a video. Th this shows the contrast a little bit. I love my dad, man. He's hilarious. He's such an emotional guy, you know? My dad was as funny as soon, was whenever you like broke something. 'Cause my dad my dad would totally flip out, right?

But the words he used You would actually thought it was a good thing. You know what I mean? Like you'd break a window, psh he'd be like, Nice. Yeah. Wii

Don't you break them off? Dude, there is an epidemic of gold digging whores in this country. And every night I put on the news And I'm waiting for someone to address it. Every night, never see it, you know?

And every night I bring up gold digging horse and the whole crow pulls back like I'm up here talking about Bigfoot. Right. Like I'm saying the moon's made out of cheese or something. Talking about whores, people! They're everywhere!

How many? How many more great men are gonna get chopped in half? Before we do something. Why is it so quiet in here? Tim, I don't get it.

Um

So when did you go to opening up to more Uh I I'm not gonna say profanity, just being yourself, maybe. failing by yeah, just failing, just trying to do what they uh that I thought they wanted. Whatever they were responding to, and um

Then that just morphed into well If I'm gonna fail. I'll fail doing what I want to do in this business. And then that led to me starting to succeed. And

Once I started to suc succeed doing what I wanted to do Um my view of the business changed. Where I then looked at it rather than like it's this thing I'm running towards it was like no I'm in it. So this I just look at the the the business like it's a giant mall. And I have a little store, right?

Probably like those ones that are in the middle that you walk by. Not that sure. Yeah, a little kiosk. And I just I have what I do. This is what I do. You come in, right? This is what I do. Okay. If you want to buy something, great. If you don't You know You c you keep going, but this this is what I do. And rather than I used to view it like oh they're selling shirt I should sell shirts and I gotta sell candles and I gotta th you know do nails and have like this one stop Walmart thing.

And it's just like that just didn't work for me. I just I do a podcast, I tell jokes. I act when they let me, you know,'cause I you have to audition space you know. But then I also just found with um You know, the people I grew up didn't talk like that. The stories I had to tell people weren't like that. very volatile and they use colorful language as they say, and um

There is this thing. With comedy purists where they're act like okay, if you work clean. Um You know, then then that's pure comedy. That's that's real comedy because you didn't say any bad words. But You know, which I do understand,'cause you can definitely use

Uh curse words to to You know. Sort of steroid up your stuff. But I've also find what you know When people say they want somebody to work clean, it doesn't just mean

Don't say any m bad words. It also means don't have any opinions. that will make people uncomfortable because I could I could easily work totally clean. And there's groups of people that you could c completely piss off and wouldn't want to pay you just by your opinions on things. So um

I just felt like it was a limited thing. And I've always liked The rawness Oh Um

With everything with music. With film. With comedy. Of just going off. more um

the realness of that. rather than this totally polished thing which I h t completely have an appreciation for But the amount of times I've heard comedians go like say something so funny in the green room. And be like Yeah, but not that's I'll be like, dude, you gotta do it on the stage, you gotta do on the stage. Like, nah man, that's not me, that's not me. It's like it is you, you just fucking said it. Whatever you're doing up there, that's not you, that's you on stage.

And that's what happens with comedy is like there's this big like mystery thing about you gotta find your voice and oh is this who I am? Is that who I am? And I have this theory that you walk in. With it. as an open micro and then you go on stage and the weirdness of looking at people and talking You become this is me on stay, oh din a microfон, and just becomes weird. It becomes weird and then you spend I don't eight, ten, twelve, fifteen years

Trying to get back to Who you were when you walked in, who was this guy who was making people laugh in the bars. 'Cause like you just walked into a bar and something happened and then you're just ripping on it. But you you were co you were comfortable. Then you go on stage and it's just like, oh shit, everybody's looking at me and I have to handle all of this. Uh what am I doing with my hand? How do I get this out of the stand? And it it just becomes this whole

You know Just looking at yourself and then then that who you are goes right out the fucking window. A lot of folks consider you The comedian's comedian, right? I mean a lot of comedians look up to you and they're like, Oh Bill Burkin not not only talk about anything. He's willing to talk about anything.

This is self-employed. You can't get you can't get too into this business. If you get too into this business, then you're fucked and then you become that guy. You mean just having contracts and relationships with people you No, you get in business with people, but that's not your only thing. Like I'll I'll never stop doing stand up and I have my podcast. So I can and I don't live a lifestyle beyond those. I live way behind those. So no matter whatever happens, whatever fucking slap on the wrist I'm ever gonna get from the the social media, I'm still gonna be fine. It's when you um

You know, it's when you just go into this business. If you're just an actor on a show or you just host something or or or whatever it is. that like all of a sudden like if you just did this, you didn't have your podcast or any other way to make money, if all of a sudden You know, there's some bullshit. If the people above you go you have to go out there and apologize. You you're in a situation of like or else I can become homeless. Yeah. So then you have to go out there and even if you're not sorry, you have to say you're sorry. And I think that that's uh

that doesn't look like a fun thing'cause I've seen people going out there squirming. Yeah. trying to like how do I apologize without apologizing To the forty drunk soccer moms who all tweeted at the exact same moment, so this became a thing for eight seconds yesterday that I now have to address. So Having said that, if I'm an asshole, I will say sorry. But I'll say it to the person

Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I don't get I don't get this whole thing. Where somebody secretly videotapes you at a comedy club and then they upload it on the internet

And then you have to now apologize. To people who weren't at the show. Yeah. Yeah, it's like you weren't at the show and you decided to watch so why don't you get mad at the kid who fucking filmed it. Like that's it. I am guilty of being a comedian in a comedy club that tried out a joke that didn't work. Right? Yeah.

I don't know. It makes sense to me. In my head everything makes sense. So the podcast Uh so your podcast was a very early influence for me. I I love your podcast. And uh I see you've gone past me well That's a cute little idea you got there, freckles. Well, I think there's there's one thing that arguably you do better than anybody else, and I'm sure it's

one of many, but I want to listen to some of your ad spots. So we're gonna pull up some audio of a couple of your sponsor reads. And I think uh I think we'll pull up Sherry's berries first. This might be my the favorite name of anything I've ever advertised here. Uh other than one white Charlie's

Uh Sherry's berries. For my listeners. Double the berries. For just ten dollars more. Here's the only way to get

This special nineteen ninety nine Sherry's Barry's offer. Call eight six six fruit. Sorry.

What the fuck am I selling? Did I approve this? This is fucking ridiculous. Who the fuck is gonna buy this shit? This is the funny shit.

What? Cole six six fruit, everybody. Oh punch struck. Oh please spell out the words. Oh by all means Barry's B E R R I E S Berries.

Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in Burr. Hey, you cut better buy some Sherry's berries because I'm gonna get in trouble with that fucking reading. I'm not changing it because that was hilarious When did you do that from the very beginning with the host reads? Uh Did you start kinda taking the piss out of sponsors from the very get go with the podcast? Because you really I mean early, early pioneer. This is

Two thousand seven? I mean it is early. This is way back in the day. So you were one of the first kind of long form guys. Did you have standard sponsor grease for a while and then Well, I did it for years without doing sponsorship, so when I started doing reads it felt weird

to be this guy just saying whatever I was thinking and being funny and all that to all of a sudden be like, you know, the Chrysler Cordova. It just felt weird. And I was just like in People are gonna have the ability to just fast forward through this and skip it. So I didn't feel like the comedy should stop. And um so I always you know, I'll just throwing a Boston accent. I'll just do something to get them to listen.

And with the Sherry's Barry's thing that I did. Um I I hadn't read the copy and it was so like Homophobic yet homo erotic the whole thing. It just was so ridiculous to me, like I couldn't believe it was true. So I legitimately started laughing and I remember they were calling us saying take it down, take it down.

And I was just like Yeah, tell him you didn't get to me like I'm I'm I'm not taking it down. That's hilarious and I don't give a shit 'Cause I got all this other stuff, you know, but once again, one of those moments. I'm self employed. So, you know, I don't need some chocolate covered strawberry people to pay my rent. I didn't put myself in that position, which I very easily could have. I didn't. So I said I'm not taking it down. But what they learned um what ended up happening was people ordered the stuff'cause I said I was gonna get in trouble and then it turned out evidently they were delicious

And they sold a bunch more. So what ended up happening was was companies that were younger and kinda understood it's like oh this guy's he's making fun of us and he's singing songs and he's cursing and all this type of stuff, but people are listening and they're buying this stuff. So it kinda became one of those. But there's been s others that haven't

Had this sense of humor like I remember uh Nature Box When I for some reason was reading it as Nature's Box And And I was you know, and I was like choking around, I'm like, Oh, you gonna go down on Mother Nature? Right, just just fucking around.

But I also think it was just there's this weird sort of stupid thing where they were gonna like bring you a banana at like three in the afternoon. It's like like I can't fucking do this by myself. Like I need you to p like if they are really stupid, I w I will say it. And um 'Cause I just look at the pocket, whatever money I make off it is just gravy anyways. Like I can live off my stand up money, you know what I mean? Like I said, I I Lived well within my means.

Because I I been in debt and I didn't like the way it felt. I just would be waking up at night going, I owe these people this fucking money. How am I going to get out of this? My car is breaking down. That's going to be more And um so I've I've avoided that stuff. I know a lot of comedians have trouble going to TV. developing T V shows.

How did you find your way to F is for family. I don't know, m all my live action stuff that I wanted to do and all live action means is just This. regular people, everything that I wanted to do, that I really wanted to do

They would just be like, Oh, that's like You know, that's sexist, that's homophobic, this is what's this gonna say to kids, this is mean to dogs, and they just would deball the whole thing And then it would suck. Oh yeah, I I did a I did a pilot. They shot it down and then like two weeks like, Hey, you wanna do another show? With us and I said yes. And it was with another comedian and then we did it and we we all got together and we were just like hey

Let's just give'em exactly what they want. Let's just do exactly what they want. And we did that and they still shot it down. And then that was it. That was it. I just went off the reservation. I was just like, fuck trying to develop a TV show. I'm not doing it. All right. I'm just gonna be a comedian that sells tickets. Hopefully. And if that's all I am, who gives a shit? I'm telling jokes for a living, I'm killing it. Um That was it. I didn't have any ideas, and then one day I opened for this comic uh Steve Byrne.

And he knew Vince Vaughan, the guys at Wild West, and Vince was in the crowd. He liked what I did. So I took a general meeting with them and they were like, So, do you got you got any ideas for T V shows? I was like, No. I got a I'm all out of'em. No they never fucking work. Nobody ever picks'em up. I'm just sick of it. There's always like I'm always pitching to a woman. They always say women don't run the business. I haven't got to that fucking level.

And this I'm always going in, just pitching. And there's always some woman there going like Hm, I don't think that that's gonna pack and bow us. Hey, what if the guy's a complete fucking moron and doesn't know how to dress himself, but his wife does. Oh, that I like? That's a good one. Yeah. So

Just'cause you have a vagina doesn't mean you can't be, you know, in the wrong sometimes. So anyway, so then I just I was on my way out of the meeting they were just like, you know, what else what are You don't have any ideas? I was like, look, I know you guys are doing movies with Vince, I'll play some a waiter in the background. I'd love to do something with you, but no I got nothing. So and as I was walking out I remember uh Peter Billy was sort of walking me out. I was like, Well, you know, I do kinda have this idea This cartoon idea.

Or whatever, and he's like we want to do an animated show, let's sit down. And and it basically stemmed from uh my childhood stories that I told On stage. as a young comic and everybody got it, but as I became the older comic And this new generation came up that had play dates and helicopter parents, and they wore helmets when they rode bicycles like they were in a fucking race or something. Um they didn't laugh at the jokes. It started become everything was labeled like, oh, that's bullying, that's you know, that's mental abuse, physical abuse. And I would literally be standing on stage going, guys, this is funny, this happened to me. My mother was right. I was telling my stories like So anyway, I just stopped telling the stories on stage and then one day I was walking my dog. I thought what if I just made animated shorts on my website?

I could do that. That would be cool and I could ramp up and it'd be animated kids and no one would give a shit. And uh but of course I never did it, but then when I ran into them And they're just this force of nature. Then they ended up Hooking me up with uh the great Mike Price from the Simpsons. who's done like three hundred plus episodes over there, so

And um we came up we've just fleshed out those little s I was just gonna do little stories like you know, we go to get a Christmas tree or somebody buys a new bike. They they turned it into this whole world. We helped develop this whole thing and then We pitched the cartoon and I think they were just like this is a weird choice for a comic in two thousand ten, but they just saw it that's Vince Vaughn. Alright, we'll give you six. Bill's a little pussy! Chris he falls apart if you just look at him, alright? He's got no spine! You gotta rub his back during war movies! He's scared of everything!

Gee, I wonder where we got that from, Susan! What do you mean, you get it from me? You coddle up too much and you know it! You know it! I work hard to keep this family happy! I keep everyone! Everyone from killing each other! Well, today I would actually welcome it! Um Okay. Yeah.

I eat you. No. Baby. Uh.

Yeah. Can you take my slacks off? I'll leave him one out. I think we need one out. Oh. Oh yeah, touch it. You like that? Yeah. You like that? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh here we go, baby.

F Come on. Very family oriented show. And I got a feeling you're gonna you're gonna ask me what everybody asked me. Which is did that ever happen?

You know, I was just gonna leave it open and just say any any comments. That show is like loosely based on all of our childhood, so it's it's it's an amalgam Uh huh. It's an amal eh he showed it. I didn't make it an amalgam. Of like all our dads. Like I wanted like my family to be able to watch this and not be like mortified. Like I have a big respect for the fact that I decided

to put myself out there and especially it gets winter every year. With technology and everything. So like I didn't want them to watch it. Like there's elements of the show that my dad would be like, All right, I like I'll put you through that fucking wall. He used that was his catchphrase. I'll put you through that fucking wall. He used to say that, right? He never did it. He just you know, it's just a empty threat, you know? But um but you know other stuff is like writer room stuff. Like that was just like okay, what if what if you know, they start having sex and it just it seemed like they had this big huge fight and he says this mean stuff about his son and he doesn't know he's there and it's just like well how do we get out of this comedically How do we diffuse this? What if they have sex? So it's that aspect of it was like a like a writer's road though. Who drew the balls are very photorealistic. I actually I actually met the woman who drew it. I was doing a gig in um Ottawa, Canada.

Big jump. is the animator up there and uh I I just happened when I had the gig to come over in and meet them. I just happened to be in town and they were animating that scene and she literally had like Sketch three different ball bags that she they look like little speed bags that she was gonna make. And just so you guys know, you know, you were mentioning bombing and then just turning it into an opportunity to vent, and being like, well not sure what that was, but that was fun. I enjoyed that. So I was talking to the team about whether to use this video or not, and I was like, at least I can say I had a pair of animated balls. that I forced an audience to watch. Swinging around, so you're welcome. There you go.

So I thought we could we have a lot of questions from the audience. So I thought we would we would throw it over to the audience. And uh we have some in studio, we also have some from the internet. who have been uh kind enough to chime in as well. So the first one's from Facebook. This is Joseph Swam. So Effectively, how do you generate ideas? And what is your process?

Do you still write stuff down? W what are the sort of key components of Uh where you start when you're developing. Well I used to write it all out and then I I don't write it now. I just

I just treat it like how I used to treat like if something funny had happened at work. If I was gonna go tell my friends I wouldn't write it all out, memorise it, rehearse it in front of a mirror, I would just go up and And I would just tell'em the story and I would act out all the characters and all that the way I did. But what happens is when you go on stage is like you know You know, it just is you know, you can bomb, you can have a bad show, there's all that self conscious stuff, so

Um I guess the process was trying to become as comfortable as I was in a bar. shooting the shit with my friends. being that comfortable on stage. And that took a while. Long time. W what are the sort of key components of

Uh where you start when you're developing. When you're starting? Uh meaning where you start with say if you were gonna if you were starting right now to do a a special. Well usually it's just I'm walking around and I see something or I hear something. That'll get me going. But if I'm in a writer's block, which is

A big thing for a comic, how to get out of it. I find is I try something new. Or I'll just I'll be at an airport and I'll j I'll grab a magazine that I would never read. I'll grab like Cosmo. I'm just gonna get different point of view. Because your bi your brain can get bored and when it gets bored, it goes into autopilot and then you just stop seeing shit.

And um Yeah, I'll just Do stuff like that. And I also when I'm building a new hour. I take all rules of hack. I'll do an OJ joke. I don't give a shit. I'm just going on stage

Just anything just to be saying something new, something different. And that'll eventually lead into something Um that's worthy of of of of keeping. But I I definitely write on stage, but if something happens Like I'll just Usually I just make a mental note, but sometimes I'll just write down

Like a word, I'll just write down like iPad. You know, or or you know, whatever, boots or something. I just but I know what that means. Like if something and I know that means something like Yeah. Somebody stepped on my foot that day and blah blah blah blah blah and That's the cue. Yeah.

And so and then I just sort of write on stage. Writing on stage meaning. You are taking notes as you go through your people say right on stage. What it really means is you just go up and just Wing it. You just the same way you would c like I said earlier, you come home, if something funny if you saw a car accident You you'd come home and just tell the person you're with. You wouldn't have to write it all down. So um

I've done standup long enough where I'm comfortable enough to do it in all the all the time. great people that I see, them all the great men and women that I see doing stand up today. Most of them do it that way. But some people Wanna

Do a little bit of that and a little bit of writing. It's but I would say for that person is you gotta find what works for you. Um Just kinda be open to all of it and then as you through trial and error, just sort of streamline it into your

Your so called process. So if if you met let's say twenty five year old, twenty year old, you can pick the age. who you seem you you seem to think had some promise as as a comic and they want it to be a stand up comic. And they s they had the same commitment that you did at one point, which was at some point in the next year, I'm gonna get up there on stage and Do a set. I guess th there are two two questions.

How would you assess if someone could stand a chance? And then how would you Train that person. I mean or or or have them practice. Um I don't you know what's weird, I can watch somebody young and and

Everyone's like you'll just see somebody be like that person if they do everything they need to do could could be great at this and it's like a uh It's a uniqueness, it's just something they'll say. Or something they do, or something the way they handle a situation

You just see that's like a it's like being you know like an NFL scout. You just see them, you know, make a throw or something like eh, that's an NFL arm right there. We'll see if uh If if he or she develops it or whatever, but um I I don't tell I I would never tell somebody what to do because like uh how my brain works, everybody's unique. So

Uh, what I would do though is go out of my way to encourage that person. Like if I saw somebody young and they w they were funny, I would go out of my way To make sure. That I said that because They need that I I realise, you know. You gotta do that.

So this is from Anna Clara Ottoni. Her question begins with some people just don't have a sense of humor and uh how do you relate to or deal with these types of people. And I'll just leave it general like that. So whether it's you get trapped with them at a cocktail party or In general, crowd, whatever it might be. Oh cocktail party I would I would just walk away. Yeah.

Um If I'm doing stand up, yeah. Oh, man. I shouldn't this is another one that I I probably sh this is some inside shit. All right.

This is what I would do, when there would be somebody like it killing everybody and there was just that one person that's just sitting there and they're not laughing and they're not laughing. And they used to always bug that like that bug's a comic. You just like they couldn't fucking get that one person or ruin their night. Like you let it m I started realizing how stupid that was. I was like if I was a president and this was my approval rating, I would be fucking killing it. So I finally decided I'm gonna have fun with this person. So what I would do is like you can't see the people who are doing it in the back, but it was the people who are up front. Yeah.

So they would be like right there, and they're just like if you could feel the energy. So what I would start to do would I would overcommit to my jokes. act even sillier and I would send all of them right out over their head. And the best thing would be if they were close in the front row, I would be standing right up on'em. And my favorite thing to do would be make some sweeping gesture like over their head. Like I would literally be like, and my dad says to me, and I'm just totally just living my dream like right in their face, right over'em. And it would just drive them. Up the fucking wall, and then I would keep throwing in like God, you guys are great. I am having such a great time up here, and it was all That was the show within the show for that one fucking asshole and

Like I learned all of these these Those types of things through years of doing it, through basically am I gonna take this as a negative or a positive and realizing I I have the power to decide like I can let this guy ruin my night or let this woman ruin my night or I can ha I can have fun with this Um It's the same thing, like if you ever do like the late show and only like eight people showed up.

I made the mistake of coming out with eight people energy. And it shot. And then one night I was just like, You know what, fuck this, I'm gonna go out. And just try to kill these eight people enough that they bring eight more. And then I I went out with this positive thing.

And then I I that so got ingrained into my work ethic. Like the other day I had a buddy of mine who's on his way up going like He's gone, Oh, dude, he goes, You know, the club Notter just told me that we only got thirty four people on the late show tonight and I literally felt like this jolt going through me, like just being like I fucking destroy them. Fucking destroy them. And make'em bring thirty four more.

Because if you're not the guy Which I wasn't I was never the the whatever the fuck they were looking for. That's the only way to do it. You just gotta hack your way through. So we we s we saw you battling Philly. In the beginning.

And uh You ended up at one point At Madison Square Garden. And I mean they're only a handful of modern comics. Who?

can play that venue or have played that venue. What was that like? Can you walk us through what that experience is? It was unbelievable. Yeah. It was awesome. And uh What I ended up doing Look at that.

That was and I I had um I enjoyed every single second of it. Every every single second I enjo I made sure on that one and I um Because you gotta rent that thing out.

Okay, which is not cheap, so most of the money you make that night goes right out the window. So I was like, Well, I rented it for the day, right? They're like Yeah, so I'm a big Led Zeppelin fan. And you know, they shot song remains the same there. And that's also where uh Robert Plant said, Does anybody remember Laughter? which was the name of the show. So I rented a drum kit and some amps and all that, had me and a bunch of my friends came down and in an empty Madison Square garden.

We just jammed and played all this cock rock from the eighties and some you know uh yeah, all that all that shit that we used to listen to, all the hair metal stuff. Um some Black Sabbath. Guns and Roses, Motley Crew, we just had the best time And it kinda and like what was cool was the union guys setting up the chairs I was like, is this gonna bug them? And they're like, No, they're used to bands rehearsing and stuff. And they kinda I could say had an appreciation that we had an appreciation for what it was. And they ended up putting us up on the the the screen. They did the lights in the end. And uh no, I had everything. My agent played guitar and I got him up there and uh All these comments came down, uh, Josh Adam Myers, Ben Bailey, and all these guys. We just had the the greatest time. But what was cool was it took away the scariness of doing that place.

And it it we just kinda came in there and got our stink on it for a little bit. And then I remember I went home Um went to the apartment and uh My wife was there and I was waiting for her to get ready. And I was drinking a beer. She's going, you drink a beer, you never drink a beer. You never drink I said, Don't worry about this one. Don't worry about I I just knew it was awesome.

It was awesome. What did you think when you were on stage? When you were finally up on stage? Well the best thing was Joe DeRosa, ver Paul Versey and Joe DeRosa opened for me and Joe wore like this old lady like looking knitted sweater. Sometimes one of your friends just dresses in such a certain way you're like willing the crow to heckle him. Which you usually don't. You're usually rooting for the comic and nobody heckled him. So it like annoyed me so when I went on stage I was like Yeah, keep it going for Versey and uh how about Joe DeRosa and his fucking golden girl sweatshirt and everybody started laughing and I just stood there shitting on him for like ten minutes and then I just felt like I was in a comedy club.

And um no, I just knew. I knew and I was like they I had ninety minutes and I did ninety. I I did ig the whole I was like I'm doing the whole thing. I'm totally taking this in. I recorded And uh I'm only gonna put it out on vinyl'cause there's too much overlap between that material and my next uh special. So It's just it's just something who for total nerd of whatever I do. And uh it was like

Yeah, it was awesome. I never talk shit about You know, I killed but I I fucking killed that night. I definitely that was that was a good one. Because if you could have any Billboard you wanted, not advertisement, but just a message you want to get out to the world. What would you put on it?

First thing they paint in was go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Uh maybe I would I I just I just have uh No it isn't. No, it isn't.

I like it. No, so much sh people don't know what the fuck they're talking about. And they're just so much time Getting you into this fucking panic and then this is gonna happen that just read that. You gotta be fun. Uh

And even if you're not gonna be fine, isn't it better to just exist thinking you're gonna be fine until it's not fine? And then when it's not fine, then you can just fucking handle it then. There's no sense to ruin right now, right? Ladies and gentlemen First. Hey guys, this is Tim again, just one more thing before you take off, and that is Five Bullet Friday. Would you enjoy getting a short email from me every Friday that provides a little fun before the weekend?

Between one and a half and two million people subscribe to my free newsletter, my super short newsletter called Five Bullet Friday. Easy to sign up, easy to cancel. It is basically a half page that I send out every Friday to share the coolest things I've found or discovered or have started exploring over that week. It's kinda like my diary of cool things. It often includes articles I'm reading, books I'm reading, albums perhaps, gadgets, gizmos, all sorts of tech tricks and so on that get sent to me by my friends, including a lot of podcast guests, and these strange esoteric things end up in my field, and then I test them and then I share them with you. So if that sounds fun, again, it's very short, a little tiny bite of goodness before you head off for the weekend, something to think about. If you'd like to try it out, just go to Tim.blog slash Friday. Type that into your browser, Tim.blog slash Friday. Drop in your email and you'll get the very next one. Thanks for listening.