6 Things I Learned From Not Drinking For 1 Year

11 years ago this month I gave up alcohol and in today's episode I want to share some of the things that I've learned along the way. I feel like I can rule the world, I know I could be what I want to. All right, eleven years ago I gave up alcohol and in today's episode I wanna share some of the things that I've learned since then. So the reason I'm doing this is my uh my one year anniversary of giving up Drinking. I wrote this blog post. You can Google it. It's called Six Things I Learned from Not Drinking for a Year. And today I thought

I'll recap. that blog post, but also share some of the things that I didn't add to that blog post that have kind of come true in the last ten years. And I'm sharing here on my first million because I think a lot of people would enjoy this, but also because this isn't just about giving up alcohol. So

Doesn't matter if you're Giving up drinking, or you want to give up drinking, or you wanna just create a new habit, I have found that these things that I've learned, they can apply to anyone trying to make a major life change. And so Lesson number one, figure out your why and go all in on that. And so let me explain. So

I started drinking in my late teens with just my friends, just like most people when they start doing it. But what I noticed was that it it dulled my anxiety a ton. And I am a pretty anxious person. I don't know if you can tell if you listen to this podcast. I bet you can. But I have a fairly high anxiety. And I noticed that when I started drinking, my anxiety it

Just like kinda went away. And so as I got more and more into drinking, I was just like, This feels awesome. I don't feel anxious. I'm gonna keep doing it. So it was a very much self medication. And by the time I was like twenty one I was super into alcohol to the point where

probably ages twenty two to twenty three, I was intoxicated basically twenty four hours a day. I was drunk twenty four hours a day. First thing in the morning, you start, you go all day. And then you wake up. A little drunk or a little h little hungover, and just keep going. And so I realized One night.

I was blowing it. I always felt I was kinda special. I felt like I had this fire in me that I could do something interesting. But I was completely blowing it. And I felt I wanted to feel life because I didn't really feel like a lot of emotions uh during that period because they were hidden. And so my reason was I wanted to feel life and I wanted to

Not ruin my potential. And so Like funerals, wedding celebrations. Meeting someone you like, breaking up with that person, I think I and many other people we would drink because for some reason we didn't want to face reality, whether it's

trauma you had or I'm not sure why other people experience it, but you want to like cover it up. And I'm not against alcohol and drugs for other people, but for me, it basically just like masked how I felt and I hated that. And then I realized that when I got sober

facing challenging situations, it felt like this massive adrenaline rush. I felt like So good about facing things that I previously was nervous about. So it took about six months of uh after getting sober, but on month six, month seven, month eight. I noticed that I would face these challenging situations like For example, I was twenty three, twenty four when I quit and like

Like every single twenty three, twenty four year old guy meeting girls is like the number one focus in my life. And I noticed that when I was like six, seven months in. I at first I was super nervous to go up and talk to a girl sober. But then I did it one time and I felt, Oh my God, that was a rush. I gotta feel that again, I gotta feel that again, I gotta feel it again and I noticed that it happened with business. It happened with so many other facets of my life that I got to feel this extreme

emotion that for a lot of sober people, it's probably just that's just how they feel. But it felt awesome. And so I felt like I was alive again. So I actually loved like confrontation. I loved like nervous feelings because it felt like a rush. to experience some of those things. And so it was important to lean into that and

I had to sit down for a minute and figure out why am I doing this and I just always try to remind myself that. And I think that that's the case for any goal that you try to do when you change your life is you got to constantly remind yourself why are you actually doing this. Lesson number two. Tell your friends.

So I originally tried giving up booze because I Was in college and I was like Like a this is a problem. This is just a huge issue that I have. I was basically living by myself my senior year of college and

starting my sophomore year of school, it was like full blown An issue. And so I went two years like that and I lived by myself, basically, so like no one would No that I was screwed up. And I also

had a hot dog stand. And that was like my business I've talked about here a lot of times. The reason I had that business was You could own a hot dog stand and sell hot dogs from eleven to Three. And be intoxicated and most people won't know because they just think that you're acting goofy. And so that's one of the reasons why I did it. And so I basically didn't tell anyone.

And then the first time I got sober, I just went cold turkey. And I got super sick. A lot of people don't talk about this, but with alcohol, but I'm pretty sure there's only two drugs you can die from if you try to do it on your own and you could have withdrawals and die, and that's alcohol and opioids. And so I got really sick.

Why? five days in to giving up booze and I went to my college doctor. And they like measured my blood pressure and they're like, Man, your blood pressure is like through the roof. What the hell is going on? And I had to explain to them what what the issue was. And that was the first time that I ever vocalized it. And so we had to go to the hospital that day. And I had to tell the hospital that was an issue. And it was like really embarrassing. And I felt horrible about even like vocalizing that. I remember I was like in tears practically. I was like, Oh man, I can't believe I just said that out loud.

But it definitely felt better. But I didn't tell anyone once I got out of the hospital. I still didn't mention it to anyone. And then eventually after a a few months, uh I was gonna graduate college and I moved to San Francisco to try to make it in the internet world. And I relapse because when I got out to San Francisco, I wanted to meet new friends.

I wanted to impress these guys who I moved in with even though I doubt they were impressed by drinking I somehow felt I needed to impress them and I was like, Yeah, uh let's go party, let's go do this. And then we went out and I got pressure and I caved in and I and I Ended up drinking again. And then it took about another year.

of kind of going crazy. And I eventually went to a homeless clinic in San Francisco. It was called the San Francisco South. of market.

Mental clinic, I think is what it was called. It was For homeless people pretty much, like at the time I had just left my job to start the hustle. And I didn't have any income. And so I technically qualified to like go to this homeless clinic, but in a in a weird way, I was like Uh I'm a I'm a I'm basically a bomb. Like I I deserve to be here. Like uh I'm ruining uh everything. I I deserve to be with these other uh addicts.

And I met this doctor named Jocelyn Porquez. I saw her Up until recently, actually. She gave me this advice. She was like, You should tell your your friends, tell your roommates that you're having an issue. I was so freaking afraid to do that. And so I kind of worked up the courage with her encouragement.

And I eventually told my roommates and I was like, Hey guys, I I've got a drinking issue. Um, and so uh you can live your life the way you want to live your life, and I'm not gonna judge you. I'm totally fine with you guys doing what you want to do. But From this point on, I'm sober and I'm not gonna drink alcohol and I would love it if you could encourage me.

And I felt like the biggest weight. lifted off my shoulders. And I noticed that when I felt that weight. It will go away. It it became so much easier. And so I had no problem after that telling a bunch of other friends.

And a few of my friends at the time, they kinda bailed on me. And I was kinda bombed for a minute and then I was like, You know what, if they're one of Bail on me. Over this, then fuck them. I don't want to be friends with those guys anyway.

And it Felt amazing. It felt so good. to be able to talk about this with people. And I've talked to a bunch of other people who have struggled with this. And a common feature that people have when they're trying to break any type of addiction or a habit is they don't talk about it with people because they're embarrassed. And I have found that talking about it, it makes me not embarrassed because a lot of other people struggle with the stuff and it humanizes someone.

'Cause I know that a lot of people listen to me and might look up to me. It's cool to help them, but I mostly do it for me. It's it's a selfish reason why I talk about it. Because It makes me feel better and it makes me feel like it's no big deal. Or

it kind of normalizes it. And so in my opinion, if you're trying to change a habit, whether it's addiction Whether trying to start a business. I think that you should tell people. The reason you should tell people It's because of lesson number three. Which is I think it's important to recreate your identity.

So Robert Green is one of my favorite authors. He's got this awesome book called The Four Eight Laws of Power. And I remember reading it when I was trying to get sober. And I think it's like chapter twenty five, and he's got this chapter about recreating your identity. And he wrote wrote the book in terms of like how to gain power, which you could argue is or is not good, but it doesn't matter. The lesson though was Awesome for me. And he gave examples of like celebrities. For example, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga was this like fairly like normal woman when she was like eighteen years old. And then she's like, You know, I'm kinda quirky.

I'm gonna lean into like this weird thing uh with my identity. I'm gonna make my own whole brand about it. And she became that person and that is like the lady guy character. And I found that to be very empowering. And so I started changing my language to Not I'm gonna get sober or I'm gonna try and be sober. Or I'm gonna try not to drink too. I am sober. I am an alcoholic. And I found that

Labeling. to be powerful. I think a lot of people don't like to label themselves. Labels can be really bad for you if you do like I am depressed or I am weak or whatever it is. And so I just changed the label. that I gave myself and I found that that kind of was like the seed for recreating an identity.

So my id identity before getting sober was like I've got a strong tolerance or I can be the life of the party. Or I just don't give a shit. I'm down for whatever. Like these stupid labels that I gave myself, I was still labeling myself. So instead I decided I'm gonna recreate my identity and I'm gonna give myself the label of.

I am sober. And I have other examples of doing this. So for example Um I'm gonna talk about this in a second, but after giving up drinking, I totally got addicted to sugar. And I got pretty like fat.

And that like two or three years ago, I told Sean, um, I go, Sean, I'm now a fitness influencer. And if you go to my Instagram, you'll see all these old posts where I ca it it was silly. I I was I was kind of being silly about it, but I was serious. I'm like I am a fit person now. I am an athlete. And so I got super fit because I started working at it, but I labeled myself and be labeling myself as an athlete or as someone who works out every day.

I didn't want to ruin that label and so I exercised every single day. And I think labeling yourself as a good person, a loyal person, as a business build uh builder, as a for as a force of nature, as a fitness freak. I think those labels are incredibly important because it makes sure that you recreate your identity. And I liked to tell people that. And to this day I still do that with a bunch of things. So for example, If I need if I meet someone new, I'm not gonna be like, Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, I've got issues. But if they offer me a uh a uh a beverage or something, uh uh a beer, I just say, No, I don't drink'cause uh I like it too much. And they usually get the message, but I do like little subtle things like that where it's kind of puts my foot down of I do not drink alcohol. And

I I felt this l load lighten from my shoulders to like put it out there, but it put pressure on me. to never break that because I didn't want to disappoint others and I didn't want to disappoint myself. And so I like retrading my identity and I like using labels. And I think it's really important. So whether you want to

start a business. This is a business channel. We'll talk about business, but you want to start a business and you're working somewhere, it's like, oh, I'm only working here temporarily, but I'm actually uh building a company right now. because I'm an entrepreneur. I like labels. I think labels are Incredibly effective. Lesson number four. I'm not trying to be perfect.

I'm just trying to be mostly good. And I think that that is true for many things. And let me give you an example. So I read so many books when I was trying to get sober. Uh, I talked about the 48 Laws of Power. That was a great one. Mastery by Robert Green. That was another good one. And then the third one was the power of habit. The takeaway for that book for me was that a habit doesn't go away.

It just gets transferred. And so what that means is that When you want to change a habit, it's important to look at your loop. So usually it's a there's some type of uh stimulus. That makes you want to do something and then you react to it and you typically do that over and over and over again.

Um and that's how a habit is created. And so What I had to do when I was giving up boost was that I had to look at what my behavior was and I had to like break the pattern And the pattern wasn't necessarily going to go away. It was just gonna get transferred to something new.

And so when I transferred My habit to something new. I was under uh doctor supervision under the uh for this. And I told the doctor, I'm like, Man, I'm trying to Not drink and I'm on day three.

I am craving sugar so much because when you Drink like I drink like thirty beers a day you're like craving carbs constantly'cause that's mm, a big part of alcohol. And

The doctor was like Just go and eat Ms. Just eat Ms all day. Just go like who cares? Just you can figure that out. At a later date. But right now the goal is not to be perfect and live a perfect life. It's just to be better than you were. And I thought that that was so relieving because I thought I had to be perfect as like, no, I'm making this massive life change. I can't screw anything up. And I was like, no, just improve this one thing.

And give into the sugar. And then at a later date, when you're confident with that the alcohol thing is is away and you're not craving it as much, we'll address the sugar thing another time. And so I did. I drink Uh right, ate tons of Ms. That was my candy for a long time was peanut Ms. And I loved. non alcoholic beer. I drink so much O Duels.

Uh, I would drink like Fifteen to twenty o duals a day. Because I noticed when I trade beer, I just went and got no duels. And that's a non alcoholic beer if you don't live in America. It done taste very good. But it was an awesome uh replacement.

And I got Pretty fat because of that. But I was okay. It was better to be fat and not on alcohol, then Whatever I was before, but drinking as much as I did.

And then I transferred that habit from uh non alcoholic beer and sugar. I've mostly have successfully transferred it to diet soda and carbonated drinks. So I drank a ton of like carbonated water like all day. Uh, and I love diet soda. And diet soda, you could say that's not good for you. That's okay. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm just trying to be mostly good. Now lesson number five. Being sober attracts more people. Like I said before.

How much twenty three, twenty four, twenty five when I went through this journey. I was single at the time. And what is every single Guy care about. meeting girls or meeting whatever you're into, but basically meeting someone.

Uh And my number one fear I remember this. When I was trying to get sober. Was what would girls think about me?

I didn't want them to think I was like a freak at the time. I was like, Oh, what if they think I'm a freak? What if they think? Like are they gonna think that I'm like religious? What if they uh which is done wrong be being religious, but I ain't and uh I was like w are they gonna be turned off? Are they gonna like Not gonna be into me because I'm gonna be boring. And remember My first sober date, I was scared.

Shitless. I was so afraid. And I decided to just tell her. And we uh something it it came up. I don't remember how. Uh, I think because I didn't order like a drink, which she ordered a drink. She's like, Oh, you don't drink? And I was like, No like I'm basically an alcoholic and uh it's been like six months since I drank.

And I remember she leaned in. Like she like put her elbow on the table and like leaned in. And I was like Bingo.

She's interested. What the hell that And I don't think you should do something Like this for other people. But at the time I was like I'll take any advantage that I can get.

And The fact that I was afraid to meet women And girls. Because I was an alcoholic. And the and that their potenti it m made her maybe like more interested in me.

I was like I'll take a leg up anywhere I can get it. So I leaned into that. And I noticed that. Women liked me more, at least the right type of woman. The type of woman I wanted to attract, they liked me more because of that. And

Uh I've been married now for a a long time. So meeting girls is not in that way isn't actually something I care about anymore. But men were attracted to me more too. Like I I because I had this newfound confidence. It felt as if I was walking around all day and I remember I used to think I've got a string attached to my back and I would try to pull it up. And so I would try to walk up like perfectly straight.

Because I was like, wow, this whole drinking thing, it's changing my confidence. I'm gonna lean into other things that create a real sense of confidence. So I started changing my posture. And It was Awesome. And what happened was that created this cycle of confidence where I was like, Oh, I could do this without beer. I could do uh

I can meet a girl, I can go and start a business, I can do all these things, and it created this like crazy cycle of confidence that kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And it was the best feeling on earth. Lesson number six. Finding inspiration. Is one hundred percent.

worth it and helpful. And it's okay to be corny. So I remember when I was twenty four, I met this guy named Joe Garvey. Joe Garvey actually had a kind of a interesting business. It was called Clash.

It stood for like the California League. of scavenger hunts or something like that. And when I was trying to start my business, I didn't have Any income coming in. And so I met Joe somehow through a friend of a friend.

And he was like, Man, I host these scavenger hunts. for companies. They like pay me ten thousand dollars and I do a scavenger hunt. All over the city. Where you gotta like go all over the city and find like certain things and it was A blast.

And he would let me work some of the scavenger hunts. And you would pay me like two hundred dollars or something, and it was a big deal. And at the end of a scavenger hunt you end at a bar and you drink. And He would like

be there being the life of the party. He was this big uh he was a big tall guy and he was in the center like getting everyone to rile up and do all these like team building stuff, but it was like cool And but it always involved alcohol. And I remember After working with him. He told me he I don't remember how, but I was like Joe, you don't drink? He was like, Oh no, like you know, I had a problem. I don't I don't drink anymore. I'm sober. And I was like, You can do that.

While being the life of the party, that's insane to me. How do you do that? And like He had a ton of friends and women loved him and I was like You're the man. You're my hero. I can't believe you just admitted that you had a drinking problem and yet you're still like the man. People still like you and stuff. And I got so much inspiration from that.

It made me feel feel so good. So I started reading All these inspirational books like The Tony Robbins of the World, all that stuff, I read it like crazy. I even had this jar. I had this jar.

Where every day that I didn't drink, I would put a penny in. And then It was like every day that I exercise, I put a penny in. And then it turned into where I put three pennies in if I didn't drink, if I exercise and I ate well. I would put a penny in. And I my goal was to fill this jar all the way up.

And I look back at that and I'm like, yeah, that was like Maybe a little bit Corny. But it helped. So much.

And like leaning into some of these like cheesy things. It's really powerful. And and I know a bunch of Because of this podcast and because of my work. I know a bunch of like quote powerful people. I know a bunch of billionaires, people who like sometimes many other people will look up to

A lot of'em do this corny shit. Because And I still do it, by the way. We do it. Because it

Inspiration. It's awesome. I was already a motivated person. I don't think you can make someone who's unmotivated motivated. But I think you can inspire them. An inspiration is just having something to reach towards.

Or it's reading something or being or consuming some type of content where it Helps. Point your your car in the right direction. I always have viewed myself I viewed myself as this like

fast car whose back tires were lifted in the air and I was like had my foot on the gas and I was just flooring it, but I wasn't going anywhere. And that and that was like my motivation. I was already a motivated person. My wheels were moving quickly. But I had to like let the tires on the ground and I had to be pointed in the right direction. And that's what I use inspiration inspirational stuff for. So

I like A lot of these cheesy movies where it's like uh Uh A guy doing something that's totally unrealistic.

But it makes me feel good. Or reading up the Tony Robbins books, reading a lot of these books that I well Definitely fun of now. Which I by the way I still read. It made me feel so much better and gave me inspiration. And I think it's important to like lean into that, whether you're starting a business or

Whatever you're doing because Dude, it's scary. Like Giving up alcohol. Starting a business.

Meeting a girl trying to approach a a woman who you who you who you like. Moving to a new place. It's scary. And you need every advantage that you can get. in order to like get over that hump and to actually make these things uh become a reality. And so like

lean into some of that stuff. There's a lot of like really good inspirational stuff. Um out there. Sometimes it's my first million does podcast. Um But I think it's cool to like consume a lot of that information'cause that rubs off on you and you need any advantage you can get in order to get ahead and to

accomplish uh whatever it is you want to accomplish. It's still like a little uncomfortable for me to talk about some of this stuff, but I do it because it definitely makes me feel better. And I acknowledge that. I think it will make a lot of you guys feel better if you're trying to achieve anything, whether it's giving up booze or start a business. Do whatever.

Um, at the end of the day, this is all about like getting over your fear, I think. It's it's about how to uh uh kinda Jump off a cliff. And Um There's a reason I have this horrible tattoo.

I'm not gonna show it right now, but on my feet, on my left and right feet. I've got the word act. And on the right foot I have Now. It's a home made tattoo. When I was getting sober, I like

used a needle and I like tattooed my feet. 'Cause like I said, I like inspirational stuff. But I think that this podcast hopefully is a little bit of inspiration, but also practical ways that I can get you guys to act now. And to change what it is you want to change. I'll be in the comments on YouTube, whether you're listening to this on um YouTube or uh um a podcast app, but go to our YouTube page, My First Million.

And comment on this video and I'll try to reply to a a bunch of them. But uh if you are struggling with something Say what it is you're struggling with and what you're gonna do to approach it and get over it because I think it feels good to put that stuff on paper. Like I said, it feels good to label yourself about what you what you are now versus what you were.

But let me know in the YouTube comments what you think about this. And that's the part. I feel like I can rule the world, I know I could be what I want to I put my law in it like my day's off On the road less travel never looking back

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